Ustadz saya punya pasangan yang tidak mau mengabdi. Jangankan untuk mengabdi yang sifatnya berat. Sekedar berkorban sediain air untuk saya minum saja emoh. Di suruh ngaji emoh. Di ajak salat emoh. Tapi kalau di suruh ambil duit tidak emoh. Dia tidak hormata sama saya. Itu ditunjukan dengan cara lebih mendengar nasehat orang lain dari pada masukan dari saya. Lebih parahnya orang yang menasehati itu, dari segi kecerdasan ada di bawah saya. Dari segi ibadah, ekonomi, pedidikan, juga di bawah ketek saya. Jengkelnya lagi, muka orang itu lebih hancur dari wajah saya. Lebih jelek, lebih dekil, lebih ireng, kepalanya semi botak, sudah itu banyak ubannya lagi. Pokoke amburadul dan cemong total kaya penggorengan yang di bakar bertahun-tahun. Saya sudah bulat untuk menceraikannya.
Saudaraku yang sedang jengkel, yang sedang punya saingan cemong kaya penggorengan. Anda pasti bertanya-tanya kenapa si botak tapi ubanan itu lebih memikat pasangan. Pasangan kita kadang memang unik, mereka kadang menjadi cermin datar tentang siapa kita, apa adanya. Kadang mereka juga menjelma cermin cembung, yang kalau dibuat berkaca, akan tampak wajah yang hancur. Betapa penjol, munjung dan benjol wajah kita
Kadang seseorang yang sangat buluk lebih membetot ketertarikan (interest) pasangan hanya karena ia merasa nyaman. Kadang ia lebih terpincut sama seseorang yang wajahnya lebih oke kalau sedang diperban hanya karena alasan asyik di ajak ngobrol. Atau Kadang tampang yang mestinya masuk dalam kategori under construction lebih membuat ia manut hanya karena bisa mengambil hati dan humoris dalam berkomunikasi.
Untuk masalah I ni dan seluruh harapan yang indah di seputar pengabdian saya ada solusi tokcer dari pengalaman inspiratif sahabat saya Ustadz Nemin. Ketika ingin di layani, beliau berharap ingin disuguhi air, umpamanya, beliau berinisiatif terlebih dahulu menyuguhi istrinya air. Pasangan yang baik akan cepat tanggap, sigap dan mudah tersentuh. Karena pasangn kawan saya itu langsur sadar dan memperbaiki kesalahan nya. Insyallah Allah ini bisa jadi tugu taulan yang bisa di contoh siapa saja yang ingin membangkitkan sisi pengabdian pasangan. Tehnik atau caranya berbeda-beda. Anda lebh lihai mengembangankannya karena anda sangat tahu segala hal tentang istri anda.
Kalau Anda bilang saya sudah tempuh cara itu lantas gagal. Yang jadi pertanyaan sudah berapa lama anda tempuh itu? Sudah berapa lama anda lakukan itu? Sudah berapa lama anda bersabar untuk memberi keteladan seperti itu? Kalau belum manjur ya terus lakukan sekalipun harus makan waktu 10 tahun atau seumur hidup sekalipun. Itu lah sabar yang sebenarnya. Ingat penerapan sabar juga harus sesuai dengan al Qur’an. Dalam QS al Baqoroh ayat 45 di jelaskan
“Wastai’nuu bishobri was shalah. Minta lah pertolongan dengan jalan bersabar dan shalat.”
Ingat yang perlu di camkan. Sesuai ayat di atas urutan al-Qur’an adalah sabar dulu baru salat. Bukan salat dulu baru bersabar. Sabar dulu baru berdoa. Bukan doa dulu baru sabar. Sabar dulu baru usaha. Bukan usaha dulu bau bersabar. Aturan sabar yang sejati yang sesuai al-Qur’an harus di letakan di awal. Bukan itu saja dalam 99 nama Allah atau (asma ul husna) lapadz As-shobur atau Yang Maha Penyabar di letakan di akhir. Ini sebuah ajaran dari Allah bahwa sabar juga harus di letakkan di akhir. Bahwa sabar adalah penyempurna semua urusan
Ingat sabar itu di awal dan sabar juga ada di akhir sebagai penyempurna. Ketika anda berdoa pasang kesabaran di muka, lalu berdoa kemudian di tutup dengan sabar. Ketika Anda berusaha. Letakan sabar pada posisi awal lantas berusaha setelah itu sempurnakan dengan kesabaran. Begitu pun berhadapan dengan pasangan. Bismillah! Lalu pasang kesabaran kemudian jadilah teman yang asyik diajak bercengkrama, seperti hal nya pasangan anda nurut sama orang yang wajahnya lebih oke kalau sedang diperban hanya karena alasan asyik atau nyambung jika di ajak ngobrol, lalu setelah itu sempurnakan dengan bersabar.
Cara yang sama harus anda terapkan ketika ingin mengalahkan seseorang yang pendidikan, ilmu, materi dan lain sebagainya ada di bawah ketiak anda. Sehingga pasangan anda terpincut lagi dan meninggalkan “benalu” yang tampangnya itu semestinya masuk dalam kategori under construction.
Apa pun urusannya Ingat sabar itu di awal dan sabar juga ada di akhir sebagai penyempurna. Ini juga ajaran bahwa sabar itu tidak terbatas. Karena sabar adalah sifat Allah maka ia tidak terbatas. Tapi lalu anda bilang, saya kan manusia. Yaitu dia! Sabar yang diletakan dalam kontek kemanusiaan yang mereduksi kesabaran menjadi “tidak tak terbatas.” Intinya sabar itu sifat Allah sehingga tidakterbatas. Yang terbatas itu ya manusianya. Bukan kesabarannya. Intinya, selamat bersabar dan Minta lah pertolongan dengan jalan bersabar dan shalat. Sabar di awal lalu salat, berdoa, berusaha lalu sabar lagi. Inysa Allah berhasil. Masa sih kalah sama saingan yang wajahnya cemong dan under construction itu. Ngga level ah!
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